Plan to Succeed Networking in a Highly Exclusive Private Club Environment
Why attend a horse show at an exclusive private club? For fun and networking! But just like you wouldn’t go skiing in (-5F) freezing weather in shorts, you shouldn’t go to any spectator sport with the wrong “gear.” In this case, the “gear” isn’t just what you wear, it’s also your body language, mindset, interpersonal and listening skills, EQ, and polished leadership. This is because networking success in building connections is built on three pillars: communication, confidence, and relationship skills. The purpose of this blog is to provide a cliff notes guide for all three of these items focusing on a large part of the confidence gap, what to wear. This isn’t about telling people how to dress all the time. It’s about understanding how to respect and enjoy something highly specific; the most exclusive section of a private club environment (sponsor’s tent) that would host highly ranked horse shows or polo matches, for examples. If you dressed like this for bowling, it might be ridiculous. Most people I respect and like are multi dimensional and will be just as comfortable in this type of exclusive private club environment as they would be in a bowling alley or on a trail.
While there are many benefits to private clubs, if you’re like us; you may only occasionally visit them. It’s nonetheless advantageous to know what to expect and prepare yourself to have a fun, productive visit that you’ve planned with confidence.
Networking is critical to professional success at the highest levels; though many don’t feel confident which is a main key to networking. This blog is meant to address what I see is a large, perhaps the largest factor in that networking confidence; what to expect and how to plan.
What to know:
The 4 S’s
- Standing straight with good posture
- Shape, no tight tops
- Skin just no; no décolletage or exposed thighs, shoulders, open midriffs, or open back. Keep it proper; demurely bare arms are ok but I’d limit that in this context to just very long maxi style dresses.
- Sloppy, also no
How to respond to an insecure person who makes a jab at you or your table mate because whether it’s right or not you “threaten” them: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C8KxuwBRUdN/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
The mindset you bring: You build and create value in all dimensions, you don’t just think about or talk only in terms of cash. That can seem self centered and crass. Great quick video: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C8ffgX_yHk5/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
LADIES Style guide:
We don’t wear tight tops to a horse show. Video
https://www.instagram.com/reel/C8a9A_IRqIt/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
Averagely ideal daytime business networking in the sponsor’s tent
See the dressiest it gets for breakfast or lunch business for me.
Video
https://www.instagram.com/reel/C8c8qudy8dp/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
What footwear to wear, no pointy heels! no high heels please. Video
https://www.instagram.com/reel/C8TPVz8xK8W/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
It’s not about being fancy! Please don’t over dress for the evening BBQ.
Video
https://www.instagram.com/reel/C8Q3RXrtJ9M/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
What to wear to the Grand Prix: either of these outfits work; a polished resort look (to the left) or dressy sundress (rt)
What to wear to the charity gala. White tie, black tie, formal, semi formal, or cocktail. Watch color restrictions (white/cotillion etc.)
https://nljc.com/when-to-wear-what-a-guide-to-semi-formal-and-formal-dress/
Ladies: if you get invited to a private club event; I’ve found it helpful to text our hostess photos of our plans ahead of time to align and solicit feedback.
Need more style planning help? Hire the gifted stylist, Theresa Palmer for any critical board retreat presentations, magazine cover, trips, important events, and big conference keynotes: https://www.apalmerincalifornia.com/bookappointment
Please don’t wear more than 1–2 logos max.
How to give respectful and kind feedback on unprofessional attire. Hot tip, it’s part 2 of this video not the first example. The close friend version: “You’re beautiful and talented! That’s what I want the whole world to see.” https://www.instagram.com/reel/C8m45b8tZbt/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
MEN’s Style musings: I’m not a man so I hope a man will write a follow up guide like this for men.
Men: Socializing & light Business networking
Understanding shirt types for men: https://www.menshealth.com/style/a44891595/types-of-shirt-men/
Takeaways:
- Plan and prepare your mindset
- Plan your executive presence including your outfit, grooming, and polish plan
- Prepare personal elevator pitches and have a small talk social skills plan
- Set and exceed some OKRs around relationship success in various arenas: professional and personal. This can be person type, relationship quality, etc. We highly recommend the work of the preeminent relationship scientists at the Gottman institute for managing the health of all types of relationships.
- Arbiters of admission into exclusive environments like to see newcomers with a track record of long term family friendships. If you’re in your 40’s, ideally some would span 20–30 or more years. Many people struggle to maintain relationships for multiple reasons; however renewal and commitment are essential skills to demonstrate trustworthiness in exclusive leadership environments. We recommend eminent neuroscientist, David Eagleman’s chat on renewal here: https://www.linkedin.com/posts/davideagleman_brain-habit-ugcPost-7211055496525488129-LFpk?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_desktop
Leverage this great resource!
There are free classes on Thursdays for self elevator pitches and small talk training for investor/donor/board relations with Anthony Lee, comms coach. Follow him to be notified and learn more: https://www.linkedin.com/in/heroicvoice/
Being a lady or gentleman is always professional and IN STYLE!
In summary, in our work at Medigram; we navigate and sponsor professionals into and between several separate “private club-like” environments. The better we make our teams at leading in the most discerning circumstances including with humility, the more confident and capable they will continue to become across the board.
Sherri Douville BIO
Sherri Douville leads at the intersection of mobile, AI, cybersecurity, healthcare and technology. As the CEO and board member of Medigram, the company is advancing secure, real-time mobile communication solutions for healthcare teams.
Beyond Medigram, Sherri co-chairs the IEEE/UL 2933 standards SG for trust in clinical IoT systems, and she founded and chairs the Trustworthy Technology and Innovation Consortium (TTIC), promoting security and trustworthiness in technology. She is also a Taylor & Francis series editor and the author and editor of “Mobile Medicine,” a book on integrating mobile technologies in healthcare and “Advanced Health Technology” about leveraging advanced technologies to reduce risks and foster better patient outcomes, improved patient and clinician experience, and reduce costs.
Sherri’s career includes contributions and awards at Johnson & Johnson and serving on the board of NorCal HIMSS. She is an advisor in corporate board education for SCU.
Active in community service since college, where she had connected with the majority of her mentors; Sherri believes in its importance while looking for ways to make it work in a more modern context.
